That is a great question and there are many answers. Since you are writing us, We have to assume he is getting in some kind of trouble. If you haven’t already looked at “Identifying at-risk teens” on our website, we recommend you do that first. (Click Here)
Since your son is fourteen and in school you can’t be with him 24/7. Communications is the #1 thing a parent can do with their child. That has a lot to do with how you handle this situation. Is your son in any positive activities? Like sports, the Arts or community service. The more positive activities your son is in the better he will be.
Do you spend quality time with your son? That is a hard question to answer honestly. With our busy schedules we often put spending time with our children on the back burner. Have a schedule planned out with your son. The more things you do with him, the less time he has to hang-out with the wrong crowd.
Spending quality time with your son will produce quality communications and that is the best time to build a bond and learn more about what your son likes and dislikes. Always remember YOU are the parent. You will find out if your son is a leader or a follower. When the communications with your son are NOT in a confrontational way, it is then you can teach your son the the important lessons in life. Like who they hang-out with, drugs, sex, etc.
When a teen or young adult makes the choice to change their friends and start making good choices themselves, it is more powerful and usually sticks.
Get the Reality Check Program DVD and have an open conversation about what you see. The DVD is for you as well as your son.
Good luck and keep being pro-active.