It seems my 14 year old son always makes the wrong choice with everything. How do I teach him to make the right choices?

Lawton911 deals with frustrated parents everyday and I sense a feeling of frustration in your question. You say he is making the wrong choices in EVERYTHING. Being more specific would help, but the reason I am answering this question is I get it more then you would think.

When you say everything, I automatically think, what example is he getting? Are you always being negative towards your son? I often tell parents you are not their friend, you are their parent and it is okay to be a tough parent as long as you show the love as well. That is the key.

The little things count. Like giving your child your undivided attention, not checking your phone when speaking with him, looking at him when communicating, not watching TV and talking at the same time, etc. It is often easy for parents to get distracted with work, bills, other family, etc., but we have to remember our primary goal is to parent. Setting a good example is everything.

Believe me, your child sees everything. That is why I emphasize control when dealing with teenagers. Never fly off the handle. If you lose control and fly off the handle, what does that teach your son or daughter? It teaches them that it is okay to lose control, that what you say is not going to be final and eventually they ignore you no matter how loud you get.

The single best way to help a child make good choices is by setting a good example. Look at your child’s choices in a different way and you will see he makes some good choices as well. Did he come home on time? If he did, then he made a good choice to respect your rules. Is he a drug addict? If not, he made a good choice to listen to you on the dangers of drugs. I think you get my drift. Look for the positive and not always the negative.

You can find good and bad in everybody. Teen or adult. Try to look for the good and praise that and then try and correct the bad choices in an educational way. It is all about communications.

Be a good example and all will work out.

Get a copy of the Reality Check Program DVD. It will help your son see the choices he makes will have serious consequences.

Good luck and always stay pro-active.

Larry Lawton