Answer: Sadly, I get this statement and question everyday. I look at cases like this and look for the positives. Yes, there are positives. I look for the signs that show me the level of help needed for each individual. Here is an example. If a teenager is sneaking out, hiding his marijuana paraphernalia and lying about it, I see a different picture then the parent.
Let me explain. We all know what he is doing is wrong and needs correction, but the good part is, he is at a low level. He still has respect enough to be hiding things from his parents. Yes, that is a good sign. If he was leaving out the marijuana, telling his parents to fu.. off, cursing them out, he is at another level.
The first thing I do is ask a parent a series of questions to see what level a teenager is at. From there, we develop a plan of action to address the issues. A few tips to remember is to be consistent and the consequences have to be thought out. It is all about consequences.
As for this particular question, it is quite obvious your son is angry. Find out what the root cause of the anger is. Get professional help. Ask your school counselor if he is expressing anger at school. That will be the first clue of where the anger is coming from. Stay on top of this because this actions won’t just go away, they will get worse.
Never give up and I am sending you a copy of the Reality Check Program DVD. The DVD is an eye-opener for you as well as your son. It is about choice making and the consequences of bad choices.